A Toast to the Bloggers

by Shaun Hunter


A few months ago, I cleared off the second desk in my office. I wanted a new place to write, an environment conducive to moving my ink gel pen across a paper page. I knew I couldn’t pull off a full Franzen (he writes in an office on a computer with no internet connection). I could, however, put some space between my terrier self and the rabbit hole of the world wide web.

From Franzen’s diatribes against technology, I take this important caution: a writer must be alert to wasting the precious commodities of her time and attention by chasing the you’ve-got-mail ball and following the fresh scent of a Twitter feed. Save the terrier for writing.

Wikimedia Commons

Wikimedia Commons

And so, I try to start the day at my new, old-fashioned desk: pen in hand, notebook cracked open. The only wires connect a lamp burning an incandescent bulb. When I look up, I see my backyard not a computer screen. This new arrangement has been good for me. Most days, I give myself the gift of an hour or two of undivided attention. 

Writing is solitary but I bet even Jonathan Franzen likes to hang out with a few friends after work. Some of the people I like to talk with, I’ve never met in person – bloggers I’ve sought out or stumbled upon. People whose posts I hate to miss. Some talk about books, others about how to tell stories. Some report from the trenches of mothering, others weigh in on the experience of being “other”: the artist, the curmudgeon, the university student far away from home. One inspires me to make something good for dinner.

I know I could break my Twitter and email habits, but I’d be reluctant to lose touch with this small group of bloggers. Life wouldn’t be nearly as interesting or enjoyable without them.

In this season of lists, I raise a glass to my favourite bloggers. You put yourselves out there – your passions, vulnerabilities and insights. You are bold and generous. You make life richer.

Calm Things

Shawna Lemay’s daily collage of poetry, photography and essay has become part of my morning practice. I’ve never met Shawna, but she feels like a kindred spirit.

Dinner with Julie

Julie Van Rosendaal is a good cook, and a great writer, too. I love hanging out in her kitchen. Sometimes, we eat the same thing for dinner.

Erika Dreifus

Thorough, dedicated, generous. Erika and her blog, The Practicing Writer makes me smarter and more informed.

Eugene Stickland

I missed Stickland after his Calgary Herald gig ended. A few months ago, I discovered that he has been blogging. The occasional cameo by Mr. Grumpypants is icing on the Stickland cake.

The Hot Mess Blog

Ali Bryan makes me laugh, she makes me cry. Her words crackle like spit on a hot pan.

The Least You Need to Know

Lee Martin is a gentle teacher. His weekly posts about writing are beautiful essays in and of themselves.

Lisa Romeo Writes

I always find something good in Lisa’s Friday Fridge Clean-Out. Her posts about writing inspire. It was an honour and privilege to be a guest blogger on her site in 2013.

My Ontarian Life

Neale Carbert, a transplanted Albertan studying in Ontario, writes from the head and the heart. She reminds me what it feels like to be twentysomething, poised on everything.

Pickle Me This

Kerry Clare talks about reading books, being a mom, and writing. Her blog post/essays regularly take my breath away.

Rea Tarvydas

I count on @afuckingwriter to shoot from the hip and call the bullshit.

Happy new year to you all.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 


Shortbread, Dammit

by Shaun Hunter


recipe.jpeg

I have a love/hate relationship with my grandmother’s shortbread. It’s delicious to eat, and maddening to make.

My grandmother was a shortbread snob. No quick-and-dirty recipe for her. She disdained those light, insubstantial cookies made with icing sugar and whipped together in an electric mixer. Her shortbread was dense and serious, the ingredients worked together by hand. Real Scottish shortbread, she would say with her chin lifted and her gaze unwavering, daring you to disagree. She often made pronouncements like this, backing them up with evidence she had polished into glinting certainties. Calling her out on her prejudices and closely held truths was a kind of sport in our family. But when it came to shortbread, what was the point of arguing? Though my grandmother wasn’t a Scot, I never doubted her recipe was the genuine article. She wouldn’t have settled for anything less. And, of course, the proof of the cookies was in the eating.

Long after my grandmother died, I attempted her recipe. Not just to carry the tradition forward, but to satisfy a deep craving for one of the delights of my childhood. The cookies were rich with memories. The icy early morning drive downtown with my father on deserted fluorescent-white streets to meet the night bus from the Okanagan. My grandfather smiling and rosy, my grandmother disgruntled and fussing. The slow reveal of the shortbread stowed in my grandmother’s suitcase: undoing the crisscross of elastics strapped around an old Pot of Gold chocolate box, pulling away the layers of paper towel swaddling. The first bite of the pale, precious cookies she had carried across the Rocky Mountains because I had asked.

The first few batches failed. I wasn’t surprised. Very little about my grandmother was easy.

A few years ago, I decided to give shortbread another try. I was writing about my grandmother then and the way her legacy of high expectations and rigid confidence was tightening around me. As I tried to turn my memories into stories, the material resisted me. After countless drafts, a narrative was beginning to emerge. Something was happening to me, too. As I loosened myself from my grandmother, I was finding a new way to love her.

This time, I measured the ingredients carefully, following her handwritten recipe to the letter. The butter was soft; the brown sugar, generous. I added the flour, cornstarch and, as instructed, just a little salt. Poised over the mixing bowl with my sleeves pushed up, I checked the recipe. Mix and knead with your hands thoroughly. My old frustration prickled. How long was “thoroughly”? I expected more than this vague adverb from a woman who had been so exacting.

I kept going. “Thoroughly” meant working harder and longer than I thought was necessary. “Thoroughly” was not giving up until I satiated my hunger. My fingers ached, but the dough was still loose and dry. I beckoned my better, more mindful self. I kneaded. I breathed. I let go. As I surrendered myself to my grandmother’s shortbread, the dough turned into a smooth, warm, pliable ball.

My baker self was jubilant, and so was the writer. As the aroma of shortbread filled the house, I grabbed a scrap of paper. My hands sticky with dough, I scribbled down the details of this new, unexpected chapter.

Last Christmas, I was lighthearted as I set out to make shortbread. Not only had I found the knack of my grandmother’s recipe, I was in the final stages of a manuscript centred on our relationship. I had completed a book with a beginning, middle and end – obstacles encountered and overcome. The shortbread played a starring role as a metaphor for the way my grandmother’s bitter legacy had turned into something more sweet.

But this time, as I worked the dough, the ingredients refused to come together. I persevered, dumping the dry mass on the counter. The old story. I cursed as the dough fell apart under my rolling pin. Why couldn’t the shortbread play along with my narrative? I salvaged a few of the cracked, misshapen cookies and threw the rest in the trash.

Christmas is coming. Instead of baking, I have been writing about shortbread. I thought I could whip together a seasonal essay – something light and insubstantial – but the story isn’t cooperating. I work and rework it, pull it apart, put it together, pull it apart again. Every time I think it’s finished, the essay splits open.

Take charge of your nonfiction story, an expert says. Find the controlling idea. There is no shortcut to good storytelling, just years of practice, failure and study of the discipline.

A memory pushes through the cracks. My grandmother curled over one of her crochet projects, ripping apart the stitches and starting all over, scowling because her vision of the thing she set out to make eludes her. It's just a blanket, I’d say as she held her project too tightly, trapping herself in the imperfect results of her labour.

Christmas is here and I am hungry for my grandmother’s damned shortbread. I’ve found a new recipe, posted online by Shirley Gardiner from Clearwater, Manitoba. She uses the same ingredients as my grandmother, but her instructions are more precise. I admit: I like Shirley's tone, too. She promises these cookies are a snap to make.

As I write, a pound of butter softens on the kitchen counter.